Oh sweet Jesus thankyou for KRISPY KREMEs!

Hold on to your seats boys and girls!

I actually have something other than Challenger to write about. Yes. I have actually branched out and some might even say that I’ve gotten a life…although that might be pushing the boat out a bit!

A week and a half ago we went on vacation to Boston and Toronto. And they are totally amazing cities! Boston is all genteel, cultured, old money with beautiful suburbs and towns and about a gazillion parks. I tried my first Krispy Kreme donut and I nearly wept at the sheer poetry of taste in my mouth! YUM-MMY!!! And there was the world’s best Chinese place that words simply cannot express in terms of how magnificent the food was… deeeelicious! The harbour was amazing and it was pleasant and relaxing and very chilled out. I almost met up with a couple of mates but that didn’t pan out unfortunately – if you had to choose between Hawaii and Boston what are YOU going to go for?! Anyway, we were only there for three-ish days (Friday afternoon through to Monday) and in that time we went all over the city and into witchy town – Salem – which was an experience. Like everything everywhere, it was exploited as your typical tacky tourist attraction but the underlying message made me feel very sad for humanity. The witch trials weren’t because of an inherent fear of witchcraft or anything like that. It was simply because a couple of greedy, selfish tyrants wanted to get their hands on other people’s land and accusing people of witchcraft was the easiest and most effective way of doing it. Why do we do this? But I am not going to go into a philosophical diatribe because once I get started, I can go on and on and on….! On a more positive note, when I have my last meal, I want it to be a hot dog from The Boston Hot Dog Store. How good was it? I was thinking of writing an “Ode to My Hotdog”. Yep. It was THAT good that I would consider poetry.
So after Boston we went to Toronto right slap bang in the middle of Gay Pride Week. How amazing do those guys look?! Seriously, wow! The mister has issues which started off as amusing but after a while it was a little disconcerting to find that he was genuinely uncomfortable with public displays of affection between homosexuals. What is with straight men?! Why do you automatically assume that every gay man out there is interested in you? Have you NOT seen how good they look already?! Getting back to the lonely planet-ness of Toronto… It is such a cool place! Tales abound of how cosmopolitan everything is but you have to actually visit it to see it for yourself. It is amazing! I really do think that Toronto (so far, in terms of all the major cities that I have visited) should be used as shining beacon to show the world how people from all over the world can actually get along without a problem. It was wonderful! There are some really spectacular pieces of architecture and some really odd buildings. Old and new are set in an amiable juxtaposition. The city is huge. It has the longest street in the world (yes Mike, Young Street is the longest street in the world) and it has a plethora of gem-like communities dotted around its geography. Walking through Chinatown you could have been forgiven for wondering if you were actually in downtown Toronto or some city in Asia. The sounds, the smells, the road signs even! They were all so authentically Chinese! I always marvel at how they can replicate their community so perfectly wherever they are… Then of course, a little oddity like Kensington Market – in one of the most colourful streets I have ever come across outside India. Wow! And cheap! And food – glorious, glorious, GLORIOUS food! Everything for my discerning taste buds and more… I live in England. Do I really need to explain myself?! Whilst on the subject of food (!) I found, and we had, the most FANTASTIC Thai food in this little out-of-the-way street downtown. It was – and I am not exaggerating – orgasmic. *Sigh*. Yes. I have that “just savoured heaven” smile on my face right now! I love North America. They really understand food.
The best part of the journey? Meeting up with a friend I have known for 20 years (yeesh! How old am I!) and her expert transvestite-spotting husband! There was a lot of laughing, politics and imbibing of goodly amounts of red wine and beautiful food. Oh yes. I cannot be friends with people who cannot appreciate good food! And not only do they appreciate it, my mate’s mister can cook it too! And to round off a wonderful night, there were mangoes. Anyone who knows my fruit loving nature knows that I will sell my grandmother (the sweetest little lady in the world!) for mangoes. There’s grandma love and then there’s mangoes. Of course, this seals the deal that they are definitely the bestest people in the whole world!
To end this lengthy missive, I have to say that Niagara Falls was certainly one of the most awesome sites I have EVER seen. It was magnificent, awe-inspiring, amazing… I am too inarticulate to do it justice through words. My recommendation? You SOOOO have to see it! You will never, ever forget it. The town around it is as cheesy and tacky as you can get (hey! Exploitation of an outstanding natural feature is de rigueur…) but the surrounding areas like Niagara-on-the-Lake. Oh. My. God. Talk about right out of a picture book. Or a chocolate box. Or an oil painting. Or your mind’s eye of a perfect little North American town. Simply beautiful.

This is a stupidly long post. But I couldn’t not put everything in. From the Boston hot dog store to the Thai place in downtown Toronto, from the CN Tower to the Boston harbour… it was all breathtaking. Which would I choose? That’s like asking me to choose between Jamoca Almond Fudge (Baskin Robbins) and Pralines ‘n’ Cream (Haagen Daaz). You just can’t. It’s crazy to even try. Why would you even want to?! Me? I’m having a scoop of both in my tub!